The Stimulus Bill Explained

Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics professor And says, "I don't understand this stimulus bill. Can you explain it to me?" The professor replied, "I don't have any time to explain it at my office, But if you come over to my house on Saturday and help me with my weekend Project, I'll be glad to explain it to you." The student agreed.

At the agreed-upon time, the student showed up at the professor's house. The Professor stated that the weekend project involved his backyard pool.They both went out back to the pool, and the professor handed the student a Bucket. Demonstrating with his own bucket, the professor said, "First, go Over to the deep end, and fill your bucket with as much water as you can." The student did as he was instructed. The professor then continued, "Follow Me over to the shallow end, and then dump all the water from your bucket Into it."

The student was naturally confused, but did as he was told. The professor then explained they were going to do this many more times, and Began walking back to the deep end of the pool. The confused student asked, "Excuse me, but why are we doing this?" The Professor matter-of-factly stated that he was trying to make the shallow end Much deeper. The student didn't think the economics professor was serious, but figured that he would find out the real story soon enough.

However, after the 16th Trip between the shallow end and the deep end, the student began to become worried that his economics professor had gone mad. The student finallyReplied, "All we're doing is wasting valuable time and effort on unproductive pursuits. Even worse, when this process is all over, everything will be at the same level it was before, so all you'll really have accomplished is the destruction of what could have been truly productive Action!" The professor put down his bucket and replied with a smile,"Congratulations. You now understand the stimulus bill."

Greetings in our Savior's precious name. My sermon today at TLBC was "The Faith of These" and was a continuation of a series of lessons from Hebrews the eleventh chapter where we have the Hall of Fame for the Heroes of Faith. Please take a look at the sermon outline on the front page of our church website click here. My Jury duty this week was interesting. I must call in tonight to see if I must return in the morning for the second week. I received my case of "Traveling For God" books this week and am sending out the "signed copy" orders that I've received for it. See the notes posted earlier on this Blog. ALSO, I received notice that my second book "The Thessalonian Doctrine" has now been published and is available too. I am going to make the same "signed copy" offer on THIS book as I did with the first one. Send $13.99 and your mailing address to 8423 So. G. St. Tacoma, WA. 98444 and I will send it to you. I still must order a case at my 30% author's discount and it will take about three weeks for them to come but when they arrive, I will send them out to all that have requested them. For more information on this second book click here.

Good Puns

~ A good pun is its own reword.

~ Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.

~ A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

~ A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.

~ My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.

~ Dijon vu: The same mustard as before.

~ I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.

~ Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

~ I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

~ I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

Larry Killion

No matter how discouraging things may get, we can rest assured that God is still on His throne and He does all things well. Our furnace at church was acting up again this morning. I worked on it during Sunday School and got the chill out of the building. We will need to replace the main fan drive motor I believe and must call the furnace repair company about this. Attentance was down today in church. I preached on "The Faith of Sarah". Click here to see outline on our church website. The Turners were gone to Chehalis as brother Jim did pulpit supply at Victory Baptist Church there. The Russells were not there and brother Gaylen is still recovering from his knee replacement surgery. He should get the staples out tomorrow. I must report for Jury duty for the next couple of weeks. We thank the Lord for answered prayer on behalf of Brother Skip who had an eye injury and went blind but after seeing the Doctor is feeling better and the prognosis is that the eye should heal without further damage or loss of vision. So remember us in prayer and also pray for our nation. The Economic Stimulous that they are laying upon us is probably going to put us in more debt for generations to come in the future.

Before we get to the National Financial information listed below, let me give you another LINK where you can find out more about my new book "Traveling For God". click here


There is a lot of information in the URL links provided below that is far beyond what is printed here. It would take a great deal of time to read it all but, at a minimum, it's definitely worth giving it a quick scan.


But first, listen to this interesting story.
Fed up and don't want to take it anymore?
A conversation between a Customer and Bank of America:

The Bank: Bank of America, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I want to cancel my account. I don't want to do business with you any longer.

The Bank: Why?
Customer: You're giving credit to illegal immigrants and I don't think it's right. I'm taking my business elsewhere.

The Bank: Well, Mr. Customer, we don't want to see you do that, but we can't stop you. I'll help you close the account. What is your accountnumber?
Customer: (gives account number)

The Bank: For security purposes and for your protection, can you please give me the last four digits of your social security number?
Customer: No.

The Bank: Mr. Customer, I need to verify your information, but in order to help you, I'll need verification of who you are.
Customer: Why should I give you my social security number? The reason I'm closing my account is because your bank is issuing credit cards to illegal immigrants who don't have social security numbers. You are targeting that audience and want their business. Let's say I'm an illegal immigrant and you've given me a credit card. I have a question about it and call for assistance. You wouldn't be asking me for a Social Security number, would you?

The Bank: No sir, I wouldn't.
Customer: Why not?

The Bank: Because you would have pressed '2' to speak in Spanish. We don't ask for that information when calling in on the Spanish line. I provided "snopes" for doubters:http://www.snopes.com/politics/immigration/bankofamerica.asp **************************************************************************

Now . I hope the following 14 reasons are forwarded over and over again until they are read so many times that we get sick of reading them. I have included the URL's for verification of the following facts.

1. $11 Billion to $22 billion is spent on welfare to illegal aliens eachyear. http://tinyurl.com/zob77
2. $2.2 Billion dollars a year is spent on food assistance programs such as food stamps, WIC, and free school lunches for illegal aliens.www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html
3. $2.5 Billion dollars a year is spent on Medicaid for illegal aliens.http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html
4. $12 Billion dollars a year is spent on primary and secondary schooleducation for children here illegally and they cannot speak a word ofEnglish! http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.0.html
5. $17 Billion dollars a year is spent for education for the American-born children of illegal aliens, known as anchor babies.http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html
6. $3 Million Dollars a DAY is spent to incarcerate illegal aliens.http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html
7. 30% percent of all Federal Prison inmates are illegal aliens.http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html
8. $90 Billion Dollars a year is spent on illegal aliens for Welfare &social services by the American taxpayers.http://premium.cnn.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt.01.html
9. $200 Billion Dollars a year in suppressed American wages are caused bythe illegal aliens.http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html
10. The illegal aliens in the United States have a crime rate that's two and a half times that of white non-illegal aliens. In particular, their children are going to make a huge additional crime problem in the US.http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0606/12/ldt.01.html
11. During the year of 2005 there were 4 to 10 MILLION illegal aliens thatcrossed our Southern Border also, as many as 19,500 illegal aliens fromTerrorist Countries. Millions of pounds of drugs, cocaine, meth, heroine and marijuana, crossed into the U. S from the Southern border. Homeland Security Report:http://tinyurl.com/t9sht
12. The National Policy Institute, "estimated that the total cost of massdeportation would be between $206 and $230 billion or an average cost of between $41 and $46 billion annually over a five year period."http://www.nationalpolicyinstitute.org/publications.php?b=deportation
13. In 2006 illegal aliens sent home $45 BILLION in remittances back totheir countries of origin.http://www.rense.com/general75/niht.htm
14. "The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration: Nearly One Million Sex CrimesCommitted by Illegal Immigrants In The United States ".http://www.house.gov/mccaul/pdf/Investigaions-Border-Report.pdf

The total cost is a whooping . $ 338.3 BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR

QUESTION. Could THIS be an area we could make some CHANGES in - to help our economy?
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The news is out about my first book to be published. Several friends and family have already ordered their copies of it and I am humbled and very thankful for that. Click Here for the link to the Xlibris Book Store. I want to direct all my rich friends there as quickly as possible. For the rest of you, there are still a few "signed" copies available at the Author's discount if you follow the instructions in last week's Blog post down below.

Attendance was down today at TLBC. The Russells didn't make it due to brother Gaylen being layed up from his knee replacement surgery. The Turners didn't make it because brother Jim was doing pulpit supply at Victory Baptist Church down in Chehalis, WA. It was good however to have two of our grandchildren in the services and a first time visitor from last week came back again this week. Praise the Lord. I continued my series on the Heroes of Faith in Hebrews chapter eleven. Click Here for a look at the sermon outline on the front page of our church website.

I'd also like to invite you to visit my "5 Pointers" discussion Group on Shelfari Book Club Click Here. For information on some good whole food natural health supplements Click Here. If you are interested in creating your own website and having your own domain name for only $10.00 per month Click Here. To see some of the pages I've made using the tools at GDI, Click Here.

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Brother Gaylen Russell brought the Adult Sunday School lesson today on "The Fall of Man." Pray for Gaylen. He is going in for knee replacement surgery in the morning. Elder Jim Turner was standing in for Pastor Jim Tweet in Seattle today. Pray for Jim and Banita Tweet as they travel down to southern California to visit with their Marine son Travis before he is deployed to Iraq. It was good to have two first time visitors in our services today: Brad and Crystal. I preached on "The Faith of Noah." click here for a copy of the sermon outline on the front page of our church website.

My "Author's Copy" of my first book came for my approval on Saturday afternoon and I will send the approval off first thing in the morning and it will be avilable for sale this week. I am very excited about this. My second book is complete and I am waiting for my "Author's Copy" of IT to come very soon also. More to come on that.

Here is an excerpt from the book:

We looked outside and it was snowing and blowing with below zero winds from a China Typhoon that blew in. We went into the dining room but no one seemed willing to speak English to us so we simply asked for breakfast using our Russian-English dictionary. We were served a cold greasy looking plate of salami with butter and a square chunk of stuff that I suppose was an omelet of some kind. After breakfast I was stricken with an unnatural feeling of deep dark depression. I think it was more than just culture shock. I believe it was an attack of Satan to discourage me. Since the fall of the Berlin wall we were some of the first ones in over 70 years to be on this soil with the gospel message of salvation in Christ and I know that did not set well with the Devil.

Get your copy of this new 188 page book by Larry Killion. “Traveling For God”
ISBN 978-1-4363-9385-0
Available in early 2009 at Amazon.com, Xlibris.com, and your local Bookstore.
Retail Price is: $19.95 Ask about special discounts.

I have a limited number of signed copies for friends and family at a cost of $13.99 each.
Go to Paypal.com and deposit the funds in the ljkillion@juno.com account and put TRAVELING FOR GOD in the memo. Make sure we have your mailing address.
=================================================

We had a good First Friday Fellowship last night at TLBC. Brother Jim Hunt came down from Seattle and brought a good lesson on "Being Useful in God's Service."

I received an email the other day that I thought is enlightening if folks would take the time to ponder what it brings out about the differences in attitudes regarding the change of political leadership in our country.

Notice Four Things About Inauguration day 2009:

1. Outgoing President George W. Bush quietly boards his helicopter and leaves for Texas, commenting only: "Today is not about me. Today is a historical day for our nation and people. " Eight years ago: Outgoing President Bill Clinton schedules two separate radio addresses to the nation, and organizes a public farewell speech/ rally in downtown Washington D.C. scheduled to directly conflict with incoming President Bush's inauguration ceremony.

2. President Bush leaves office without issuing a single Presidential pardon, only granting a commutation of sentence to two former border patrol agents convicted of shooting a convicted drug smuggler. He does not grant any type of clemency to Scooter Libby or any other former political aide, ally, or business partner. Eight years ago: President Clinton issues 140 pardons and several commutations of sentence on his final day in office. Included in these are: billionaire financier, convicted tax evader, and leading Democratic campaign contributor Marc Rich; Whitwater scandal figure Susan McDougal; Congressional Post Office Scandal figure and former Democratic Congressman Dan Rostenkowski; convicted bank fraud, sexual assault and child porn perpetrator and former Democratic Congressman Melvin Reynolds; and convicted drug felon Roger Clinton, the President's half-brother.

3. The Bush daughters leave gift baskets in the White House bedrooms for the Obama daughters, containing flowers, candy, stuffed animals, DVD's and CD's, and heartfelt notes of encouragement and advice for the young girls on how to prepare for their new lives in the White House. Eight years ago: Clinton and Gore staffers rip computer wires and electrical outlets from the White House walls, stuff piles of notebook papers into the White House toilets, systematically remove the letter "W" from every computer key-pad in the entire White House, and damage several thousand dollars worth of furniture in the White House master bedroom.

4. Headlines On This Date 4 Years Ago:"Republicans spending $42 million on inauguration while troops Die in unarmored Humvees" "Bush extravagance exceeds any reason during tough economic times" "Fat cats get their $42 million inauguration party, Ordinary Americans get the shaft" Headlines Today:"Historic Obama Inauguration will cost only $170 million" "Obama Spends $170 million on inauguration; America Needs A Big Party" "Everyman Obama shows America how to celebrate" "Citibank executives contribute $8 million to Obama Inauguration"

===================================================

Good prayer meeting tonight at TLBC but after such a great meeting like last week, our small crowd of prayer warriors was very feeble looking. But the weapons of our warfare are not flesh and bone anyway, right?

It was good to hear the good report from the Doctor on brother Medford Caudill. Also, we noted that God gave a great victory in Iraq last week even though the new White House people and the left wing media said little about it. For the first time in the lives of tens and thousands of citizens in Iraq, they were able to voice their opinions in a free and open election without the fear of terrorists setting off car bombs or having a firefight with troops on the ground over there. What a change and our new administration had nothing to do with it. That is not the kind of change they want. No, bring our troops home, kill more unborn babies, free the terrorists in GITMO, and give more free benefitst to illegals in our land. THAT is the change that we are apparently going to have to get used to.

A conversation between a Customer and Bank of America:





The Bank: Bank of America, can I help you?


Customer: Yes, I want to cancel my account. I don't want to do business with you any longer.


The Bank: Why?


Customer: You're giving credit to illegal immigrants and I don't think it's right. I'm taking my business elsewhere.


The Bank: Well, Mr. Customer, we don't want to see you do that, but we can't stop you. I'll help you close the account. What is your accountnumber?


Customer: (gives account number)


The Bank: For security purposes and for your protection, can you please give me the last four digits of your social security number?


Customer: No?


The Bank: Mr. Customer, I need to verify your information, but in order to help you, I'll need verification of who you are.


Customer: Why should I give you my social security number? The reason I'm closing my account is that your bank is issuing credit cards to illegal immigrants who don't have social security numbers. You are targeting that audience and want their business. Let's say I'm an illegal immigrant and you've given me a credit card. I have a question about it and call for assistance. You wouldn't be asking me for a Social Security number, would you?


The Bank: No sir, I wouldn't.


Customer: Why not?


The Bank: Because you would have pressed '2' to speak in Spanish. We don't ask for that information when calling in on the Spanish line.





I provided "snopes" for doubters: http://www.snopes.com/politics/immigration/bankofamerica.asp

Meeting for the 29th anniversary of our church.

Elder George Kelley did a wonderful job preaching for us this week at TLBC.

Marion and I enjoyed having Brother Kelley and Alice in our home this week. What a blessing.

We had some first time visitors in the services and several came down from the church in Seattle to be with us and also a good number came over from Naples, Idaho.

Of all the invitations given out to our friends and neighbors around here, NONE made the effort to come. They really do not know what they missed. What a shame.

Monday: Christ's Church.

Tuesday: Love is NOT God.

Wednesday: The Glory of the Lord.

Thursday: David's Expectation.

Friday: If The Foundations Be Destroyed.

Saturday: The Day of the Lord.

Sunday AM: The Impeccability of Christ.

Sunday PM: Following Jesus.

Our newest member, Sister Joanna Works, put together a nice little book on the History of TLBC and Brother Turner presented it to Pastor Sunday afernoon. It had pictures in it when many of us were much younger and it sure brought back memories. It was very touching. Marion and I will take the Kelleys up to SeaTac in the morning for their flight back to Ontario, California. Pray that the Revival migh continue to grow among us.

Larry Killion Free Bible Study

TLBC 29th Anniversary

It felt very cold outside this morning with the north wind blowing in arctic air from the Frasier River Valley in Canada but we had warm services at TLBC. Sunday School was on God's Creation and my morning message was on "The Faith of Enoch". See our church website for the outline of the message. click here We are looking forward to a good meeting this week 7PM NIGHTLY in celebration of our 29th Anniversary as a church. Marion and I will pick up brother George Kelley and his wife Alice at SeaTac tomorrow afternoon. We have advertized the meeting and invited several to come. Some of our elderly have already told us that they may not make it out to all the services. We are praying that God would give Elder Kelley the messages that we need to hear. Some of our friends from Seattle are coming and some from Idaho too. It should be good.

Here is a touching story I received a while back.

Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, "I love you and I wish you enough".

The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom". They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?".

Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?".

"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.

"When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough'. May I ask what that means?".

She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone". She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. "When we said , 'I wish you enough', we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them".

Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them but then an entire life to forget them. TAKE TIME TO LIVE.....

To all my friends and loved ones,
I WISH YOU ENOUGH.....
LJK

Trail of Blood

The Trail of Blood Chart shows a graphic illustration of the history of the various different denominations of Christendom and when they got started. This chart is in the back of the little booklet by the same name that was written by J.M. Carroll. There is an electronic version of this booklet available on the front page of our church website. click here We had good services today at TLBC and visitors were back again. My sermon was on "The Faith of Abel" and an outline of it can be viewed on the front page of our church website also. click here We continue to pray for the special meeting coming up January 26 - 31 7PM nightly when Elder George Kelley, Pastor of the Grace Missionary Baptist Church of Ontario, California will be our guest speaker.

This is the time of the year when a lot of folks start thinking of getting in better shape physically. If this has been on your mind, let me encourage you to visit my Lifeforce page and browse the health related products that are available from Lifeforce. Thousands of people have been helped to a better healthier life with products like these. Yours truly is a LFI Customer for life. I can really tell it when I lay off of my Lifeforce products. click here

With the downturn in our nation's economy perhaps you are open to new ways to bring income into the family budget. Please take the survey click here to see just how open you really are to looking into a new stream of income.

There are some lively discussion going on in some of my Shelfari Groups and you might find them interesting to read. If you are a rock solid beleiver in the Bible, I could use some help dealing with some unbelievers and folks from other religions of the world in some of these groups. Browse my Groups on my Shelfari Profile page. click here

Yours in the old landmarks by sovereign grace,

Larry

My Links

Thank you Mr. President SIR!

Religious freedom is the foundation of a healthy and hopeful society. On Religious Freedom Day, we recognize the importance of the 1786 passage of the Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom. We also celebrate the first liberties enshrined in our Constitution's Bill of Rights, which guarantee the free exercise of religion for all Americans and prohibit an establishment of religion. Our Nation was founded by people seeking haven from religious persecution, and the religious liberty they found here remains one of this land's greatest blessings. As Americans, we believe that all people have inherent dignity and worth. Though we may profess different creeds and worship in different manners and places, we respect each other's humanity and expression of faith. People with diverse views can practice their faiths here while living together in peace and harmony, carrying on our Nation's noble tradition of religious freedom. The United States also stands with religious dissidents and believers from around the globe who practice their faith peacefully. Freedom is not a grant of government or a right for Americans alone; it is the birthright of every man, woman, and child throughout the world. No human freedom is more fundamental than the right to worship in accordance with one's conscience. Religious Freedom Day is an opportunity to celebrate our legacy of religious liberty, foster a culture of tolerance and peace, and renew commitments to ensure that every person on Earth can enjoy these basic human rights.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim January 16, 2009, as Religious Freedom Day. I call on all Americans to reflect on the great blessing of religious liberty, endeavor to preserve this freedom for future generations, and commemorate this day with appropriate events and activities.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this thirteenth day of January, in the year of our Lord two thousand nine, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-third.

GEORGE W. BUSH

My First Book

We went up to Duval Saturday afternoon and had a surprise birthday party and family get together for Mike Hirata, Marion's brother. It was great. Family was there from all over including New York, Italy, and all over Western Washington. Everyone was excited to hear about my NEW BOOK coming out soon called "Traveling For God". More about that later. My goodness, it was amazing to see some of the aftermath of the flooding in the area. Some of the roads are still not accessible.

Church today at TLBC went very well. Attendance continues to improve. I preached on "Living By Faith" and the sermon outline is available on the front page of our church website. Click Here. Now for an introduction to my new book.

Introduction

The purpose of this book is to encourage the reader to prayerfully consider the possibility that God might have you travel to some Mission Field for a visit. You may not feel called of the Lord to be a full time Missionary to some given field of service but it might be consistent with the will of the Lord for you to take a short trip at some given time and help a Missionary in some small way while your are there in the place where God has called him to serve.

Every Missionary minded church should consider sending their Pastor for a visit to a mission field. It will do wonders for him. But you don’t have to be a God called preacher to get a blessing from visiting a Missionary your church supports on the Mission Field somewhere. Many a church member has returned from a week or two of “vacation” where instead of staying at a luxury resort somewhere, they stayed with a Missionary and his family and helped out in what ever way they could while they were there. It is a life changing event. You will never forget it if the Lord should ever open the door for you to do something like this. Sometimes there are youth groups that go to a mission field for a short term for the purpose of helping with the construction of some building project on the mission field. Nothing could be more rewarding for the young people in your church if they could do a project like this.

There are three parts to this book. First are the notes from Pastor Larry Killion’s journal of an exploratory trip he took in 1993 with Kenneth Long to spy out the land in Siberia for a possible Mission work under the authority of The Lord’s Baptist Church in Tacoma, WA. Second is brother Killion’s notes from his trip to the Philippines in 1994 when he assisted Missionary Cresencio Baldemor in the organization of two churches by the authority of The Lord’s Baptist church in Tacoma, WA. Third is a description of the events around a possible trip to Ukraine and the establishment of a sound New Testament church there in that place but after much prayer, planning and preparation the door suddenly closed on this trip. Things like that happen too and it is always important to trust God to lead and direct in all activities of this kind. The important thing is to be willing to go if the Lord would let you and willing to stay if on the other hand that is His will on the matter. Pray without ceasing.

08 Reflections

Reflecting on 2008, we can say we had a great year:
Blacks are happy; Obama was elected.
Whites are happy, OJ is in jail.
Democrats are happy; George Bush is leaving office.
Republicans are happy: Democrats will finally quit saying George Bush stole the election.
And all of us are so happy; The election is finally over!

I think 2009 will be even better: Immediately after his inauguration, Obama will balance the budget, revive the economy, solve the real estate problem, solve the auto industry problem, solve our gas/alternative energy problem, stop the fires and mudslides in California, ban hurricanes and tornadoes, stop identity theft, reverse global warming, find Osama, solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, get rid of corruption in government and achieve world peace .
Then on the 7th day, He will rest.

My best wishes for 2009.............and remember:
The government cannot give to anyone anything that it does not first take from someone else."

Visit some of my discussion groups on Shelfari click here.

Grandparents and Grandkids

Good services at TLBC today. I preached on "Do Yourself A Favor" and the sermon outline is on the front page of our church website click here. We had about nineteen in attendance including two first time visitors.

Grandparents and Grandkids

Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. ~Author Unknown

What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure. ~Gene Perret

Grandmothers are just "antique" little girls. ~Author Unknown

Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~Welsh Proverb
A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television. ~Author Unknown Never have children, only grandchildren. ~Gore Vidal

Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. ~Pam Brown

Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Grandfathers have only so many horsey rides in them. ~Gene Perret

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. ~Ogden Nash

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete. ~ Marcy DeMaree
Grandmas never run out of hugs or cookies. ~Author unknown

Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever. ~Author Unknown

If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I'd have had them first. ~Lois Wyse

My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too. ~Gene Perret

If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it! ~Hannah Whithall Smith

It's such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother - that's why the world calls her grandmother. ~Author Unknown !
Grandchildren are God's way of compensating us for growing old. ~Mary H. Waldrip

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. ~Proverb

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that and you start to age quickly. ~Gene Perret
The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida . ~Dave Barry

I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have - if only for self-defense. ~Gene Perret Grandmother-grandchild relationships are simple. Grandmas are short on criticism and long on love. ~Author Unknown

Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. ~Alex Haley
Grandmother - a wonderful mother with lots of practice. ~Author Unknown

A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. ~Author Unknown

One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather. ~Joy Hargrove

It's amazing how grandparents seem so young once you become one. ~Author Unknown
If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma. ~Teresa Bloomingdale

Grandparents are similar to a piece of string - handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of their grandchildren. ~Author Unknown
What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I'd like to say that grandparents are God's gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate. ~Bill Cosby

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. ~G. Norman Collie
Grandchildren are the rewards you get for NOT killing your own teenagers.~Unknown

Happy 2009

Happy 2009

We had a good First Friday Fellowship last night with a good turn out in spite of the icey weather. I preached on "How to have a Happy New Year."

There are many things in life that are depressing and discouraging but the child of God should not live in a constant state of unhappiness. Every year in January the world revels in the thought of a New Year and a new chance at happiness. Consider four negative tips about happiness and one positive fact. We’ll stay mostly in Luke 11 and the book of Galatians.

I. REFORMATION OF SELF WON’T WORK.
1. Lk. 11:24-26. When you go off your diet you gain even more weight. Try and quit a bad habit and sooner of later it is back again twice as bad. That is why we often make the same resolutions every New Year.
2. Gal. 1:1-5. Man made things won’t work to bring happiness.

II. ROMISH SACRAMENTS WON’T WORK.
1. Lk. 11:27-28. Jesus knew there was something better than the worship of Mary.
2. Gal. 1:6-12. There is a lot of false religion in the world today. It won’t work.

III. RELIGION OF SIGNS WON’T WORK.
1. Lk. 11:29-30. As they were in Christ’s day so it is today. People are ecumenical, charismatic, sign seekers. They all want dreams, visions and ecstatic feelings, but that won’t bring true happiness.
2. Gal. 3:1-3. It is the Spirit applied gospel that people need today, not carnal gimmicks and ecclesiastical gadgets for church growth.

IV. REVELING IN SIN WON’T WORK.
1. Lk. 11:31-32. People in Christ’s day were fleshly and carnal. They had no true spirituality and so it is with people today. How sad to think that even the unsaved heathen of the past condemn us. They saw God’s greatness with less light than we have. The complete word of God is ours today and we still can’t get folks to get their hearts and lives right with God. The pleasures of sin only last a season but they will not bring true happiness.
2. Gal. 6:7-10. You may rest assured that you will reap what you sow and sin will not bring happiness in the end. Live like the devil and you will die and go to hell with him too. If none of these things work, what will?

V. RELYING ON THE SAVIOR IS THE ONLY THING THAT WORKS.
1. LK. 11:33. When the light of God’s grace comes into your life by the gospel of Jesus Christ, it brings such joy and happiness that you cannot help but want to share it with others.
2. Gal. 6:14-16. Yes, we glory in the cross of Christ. Nothing else satisfies like Jesus. Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine.

Conclusion: God the Father purposed from all eternity to save a people according to His sovereign good pleasure. He gave them to Christ and He, the Eternal Son of God, purchased salvation for all them that the Father gave Him by His death, burial and resurrection according to the scriptures. This is the message that the Holy Spirit of God uses in our hearts to regenerate us and create in us true repentance and faith. When the triune God of the Bible does all of this, it brings real and true happiness for evermore. Hear Him today. Receive Him today. AMEN.

Where to live after Retirement

The thaw is on and now we will be praying for the folks that live near rivers and are concerned about flooding. It was good to be back in church today. I taught Sunday School, led the singing, preached in the morning and in the afternoon services. See Our church website click here for the sermon outline today. Attendance was on the rise and we thank God for this. We had about seventeen there today.

Where to Live After Retirement

You can live in Phoenix , Arizona where.....
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that " dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You can Live in California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought

You can Live in New York City where...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature,"
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn.
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can Live in Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can Live in the Deep South where...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.

You can live in Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can live in the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

AND You can live in Florida where..
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

The Son

The cold weather has stayed around this time and boy was the snow beautiful when it first fell. It was above freezing today for the first time in a while and now we are at that stage where the dirty slush is piled up all along the side of the roads. Due to the bad weather conditions and the aging of our membrship we canceled our church services last Sunday and on Wednesday night. Marion and I went over and checked out the building today and all is well. Hopefully we will be able to have services this Lord's Day. The weather man is talking rain all weekend. We made it over to visit with both of our daughters in their homes yesterday for a few hours. Thankfully the both only live about three miles or so from us. Mom didn't want to get out in the ice and snow and risk taking a spill. We made a quick trip to the store for her and she is content to stay home in her nice warm apartment.

Take my Son
A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art.
When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.
About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands.
He said, 'Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly. He often talked about you, and your love for art.' The young man held out this package. 'I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this.'
The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture. 'Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift.'
The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.
The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.
On the platform sat the painting of the son The auctioneer pounded his gavel. 'We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?'
There was silence.
Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, 'We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one.'
But the auctioneer persisted. 'Will somebody bid for this painting. Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?'
Another voice angrily. 'We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Goghs, the Rembrandts. Get on with the real bids!'
But still the auctioneer continued. 'The son! The son! Who'll take the son?'
Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. 'I'll give $10 for the painting.' Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.
'We have $10, who will bid $20?'
'Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters.'
'$10 is the bid, won't someone bid $20?'
The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son.
They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.
The auctioneer pounded the gavel. 'Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!'
A man sitting on the second row shouted, 'Now let's get on with the collection!'
The auctioneer laid down his gavel. 'I'm sorry, the auction is over.'
'What about the paintings?'
'I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.
The man who took the son gets everything!'
God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: 'The son, the son, who'll take the son?'
Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything.
FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, WHO SO EVER BELIEVETH, SHALL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE...THAT'S LOVE

Cold weather

Thank the Lord for the repaired furnace. I don't thing the portable heaters would have been able to keep the place warm enough. Very COLD weather. Several were missing from church today but we had warm services. See our church website for a copy of my sermon outline. click here


The cold weather made me think of my crew back on the job before I retired. We were the ones that had to go out in the weather and make repairs and do other things that made it possible for others in our company to do their jobs. I was like a lot of folks in this state. I had a job. I worked. They paid me. I paid my taxes and the government distributed my taxes as it saw fit. In order to get that paycheck, we were required to pass a random drug test. I have no problem with that. I don't do drugs or alcohol. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a drug test and may not even be a citizen of this country. It seems to me that people should have to pass a drug test to get a welfare check because a lot of us had to pass one to earn it for them.

Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do however have a problem with helping someone that is sitting around doing drugs, while I earn a paycheck for them. Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a drug test to get a public assistance check ?????

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2 AP's for TLBC

We had a nice warm season of prayer at our "Prayer Meeting" service last night at TLBC. Our heating system had been out of service for a while (Red Tagged by the Gas Company) and we had been making do with portable heaters and praying about what to do. Service technicians had advised us that the best thing to do is to replace the furnace with a new one at the estimated cost of about $4000.00. After doing some more research, we found a company that could get the part we needed on "warranty" and replace it for the cost of about four hours of labor. Praise the Lord - the unit is now back in service and just in time for a predicted cold snap in the weather. They are saying that we will see temperatures in the teens for several days. God has been so gracious to us in His providence.

Another answer to prayer is news from Elder George Kelley in Ontario, California. We had asked brother Kelley to come and preach for us the last week in January of 2009 in celebration of our church anniversary. TLBC was organized on January 26, 1980. There was some question as to whether or not brother Kelley could come because of some medical reasons but he called us Tuesday and confirmed that he would be able to come. Praise the Lord again! We LOVE to hear brother Kelley preach and are looking forward to a good meeting.

Yours in Christ,
Larry Killion
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Welfare

Pray for us as we strive to press on in faith and holiness for the glory of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Brother Russell taught on the Nature of Christ in Sunday school today and I preached on "The Providence of God part 2" in the AM service. click here

In the afternoon service I taught on "Joseph." There is not a lot said about the man that adopted the virgin born Christ as his own son but what little is said sure is a blessing.

WELFARE

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, " Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. "The social worker behind the counter said, " Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year."The guy, wide-eyed, said, " You're pulling my leg "

The social worker said, " Yeah, well . . You started it."

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How old is Grampa?

Brother Turner preached a good message tonight at our First Friday Fellowship meeting at church. Hi ssermon was taken from Zechariah 13:1 and the title was "A Fountain Opened."

Zack, Tom and Ralph were first time visitors. Good services.

" How Old is Grandpa?"

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandpa and Grandmaabout current events. The grandson asked them what they thought about the shootingsat schools, the computer age, and just things in general. They replied, "Well, let us think a minute,We were born before: television penicillin polio shots frozen foods Xerox contact lenses Frisbees .

There were no: credit cardslaser beams or ball-point pens

Man had not invented:pantyhose air conditioners dishwashers clothes dryers and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and man hadn't yet walked on the moon

How old are they???

Every family had a father and a mother. Until we were 25, We called every man older than us, "Sir".And after we turned 25, We still called every man older thanus, "Sir". We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy. Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions. Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege. We thought fast food was a bologna sandwich and a moon pie and RC Cola Having a meaningful relationship meant getting alongwith your cousins. Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started. Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums. We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electrictypewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and thePresident's speeches on our radios. If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk. The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam. Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of. We had 5&10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel. And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards. You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600 . . . but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon. In my day: grass was mowed, "coke" was a cold drink,"pot" was something your mother cooked in and "rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby."Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office, "chip" meant a piece of wood, "hardware" was found in a hardwarestore and "software" wasn't even a word. No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap... and how old do you thinkwe are? I bet you have this old man and woman in mind...you are in for a shock!

Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.................

These people would be only 59 years old. {Scary, isn't it?}

Discussion Group

Customers For Life

11-30-08

My sermon today was on "The Providence of God." Click Here We also studied "The Trinity" in Sunday school and "Zacharias and Elizabeth" in our afternoon service. It was a good day and a good week. Marion and I certainly enjoyed haveing the kids and grandkids over for Thanksgiving and "leftovers" on Friday. Amen, now that is a tradition I could get used to. :)

More Wisdom from the youth:

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.-- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they're rich.-- Pam, age 7The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. -- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.-- Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, a ge 8

And the #1 Favorite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. -- Ricky, age 10

Lord bless,

Larry

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11-23-08

Hi folks,

Here is the latest report from TLBC. Vistors came back. That is always an encouraging blessing. Sister Maxine and the Turners were back too. All the Russelss were there but one. Mom was out. I preached on "How To Know Who The Elect Are". For a view of the sermon outline click here We also studied the Trinity and the last aspect of the Fruit of the Spirit (Temperence).

How do YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.-- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8

====================================================
Aren't they GREAT? More next time maybe.

Larry Killion
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Reaping

One more week until Thanksgiving. I'm already looking forward to having all the family over. Marion always does such a fantastic job with the Thanksgiving meal. It is good to stop and remember that we have SO MUCH to be thankful for. Especially those of us who know the Lord Jesus Chrsit as our personal Savior. Take a look at some of the pictures of our past Thanksgivings on PictureTrail. click here

We had a very small band of prayer warriors at TLBC prayermeeting Wednesday night but what a sweet season. I've been reading excerps from "The Diary of George Muller" along with a scripture on prayer and it is blessing those in attendance. Pray for us and pray for our country.

Do you understand the LAW of sowing and reaping?

^ If you plant honesty, you will reap trust

^ If you plant goodness, you will reap friends

^ If you plant humility, you will reap greatness

^ If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment

^ If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective

^ If you plant hard work, you will reap success

^ If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation

So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later. Two thousand years ago, Paul wrote to the church at Galatia the same storybut with fewer words, "What you sow, so shall you reap." (Gal.6:7)

We are grass that will wither and die, but the incorruptible seed of God'sWord will live forever.

1 Peter 1:23 Being born again not of corruptible seed but of incorruptible by the word of God which liveth and abideth forever.

Remember

We had good services again today at TLBC. Two first time visitors. Some were out with the flu. I taught in Sunday School on "The Will of God." The morning sermon was on "The Royal Invitation" and the outline for it is on our church website. click here In the afternoon I taught on "The Fruit of Meekness." There has been a lot of water over the falls since we first organized and a lot of discouragements but God is still blessing us and we thank Him for His amazing grace in our life and in our ministry.

***************************************************************************

Here are some things that the LATE George Carlin wrote shortly after his wife passed away.

Remember - spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember - say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember - to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember - to say, "I love you" to your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember - to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but

by the moments that take our breath away.

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11-9-08

Good services in TLBC today. My sermon was on "Dread Not Nor Be Dismayed." We had a first time visitor, Jason, and our newest member, Joanna, took the Lord's Supepr with us for the first time this afternoon. Jim, Grandma, and Gail were all out sick today. We are answering Bible questions on our Radio Program "The Beacon of Truth" 1180AM on Sunday morning at 8:45AM Tacoma time.

My sister Deanna gave her notice at work this week and is joining the ranks of "The Retired". I hope she enjoys it as much as I do.

A RETIREE'S RESUME

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

6. I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center , but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work! I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

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TIPS

Our First Friday Fellowship went well. Elder James Tweet preached for us and brought a fine message on "The Faith of Noah". The fellowship was good and we learned that the Works family arrived safely in Michigan. Thank the Lord for answered prayer. They were just ahead of all the snow in the Dakotas.

Some interesting stuff here!

Reheat PizzaHeat up leftover pizza in a non-stick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.

Broken GlassUse a dry cotton ball to pick up little broken pieces of glass - the fibers catch ones you can't see!

Foggy Windshield?Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the eraser!Works better than a cloth!

Measuring CupsBefore you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill it with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry the cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

Easy Deviled EggsPut cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly. Cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done. Easy clean up.

Expanding FrostingWhen you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar/calories per serving.

Reheating refrigerated breadTo warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.

Newspaper weeds awayStart putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers: put layers around the plants overlapping as you go. Cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.

Reopening EnvelopesIf you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Voila! It unseals easily.

BIKE I.D.If you purchase a new bike for your child, place their picture inside the handle bar before placing the grips on. If the bike is stolen and later recovered, remove the grip and there is your proof who owns the bike.

Flexible vacuumTo get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.

Reducing Static ClingPin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and - voila! - static is gone.

No More MosquitoesPlace a dryer sheet in your pocket.It will keep the mosquitoes away.

Take baby powder to the beachKeep a small bottle of baby powder in your beach bag.When you're ready to leave the beach sprinkle yourself and kids with the powder and the sand will slide right off your skin.

Easier Thank You'sWhen you throw a bridal/baby shower, buy a pack of thank you cards for the guest of honor. During the party, pass out the envelopes and have everyone put their address on one. When the bride/new mom sends the thank you's, they're all addressed!

ConditionerUse your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's a lot cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you triedIt in your hair...

Good-bye Fruit FliesTo get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass. Fill it 1/2" with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid. Mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!

Get Rid of AntsPut small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it "home," & can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works & you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!

Election Results

Well, OK! Election 08 is done now and looking at the big picture, our nation looks like the picture on th right. We will be in prayer for a smooth transition of administrations. Speaking of prayer, we had a very good season of prayer Wednesday night at our midweek services at TLBC.

There was a lot said about change in the election campaigns. So, now I guess we are in for it. I received this note the other day and it was a stark reminder of how things changed in our country from 1956 to 2006.

Subject: 50 Years of Difference

See what 50 years will do...

Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack. 1956 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack. 2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

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Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school. 1956 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled. 2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

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Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students. 1956 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits still in class. 2006 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

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Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives him a whipping. 1956 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman. 2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

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Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to school. 1956 - Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on the smoking dock. 2006 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

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Scenario: Mary turns up pregnant. 1956 - 5 High School Boys leave town. Mary does her senior year at a special school for expectant mothers. 2006 - Middle School Counselor calls Planned Parenthood, who notifies the ACLU. Mary is driven to the next state over and gets an abortion without her parent's consent or knowledge. Mary given condoms and told to be more careful next time.

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Scenario: Pedro fails high school English. 1956 : Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college. 2006 : Pedro's cause is taken up by state democratic party. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum Pedro given diploma anyway, but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can't speak English.

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Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed 1956 - Ants die. 2006 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list, and is never allowed to fly again.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary, hugs him to comfort him. 1956 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing. 2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison.

Love

You can see the LOVE of God almost anywhere. Can you see it in the picture on the left? We had a good day in church today at TLBC. I taught Sunday School on "The Inspiration of the Bible". We had a guest speaker today. Elder Timothy Works spoke on the subject: "Paul's Farewell to the Ephesians." Tim, Lu, Liz and Tommy left today for their move to Burton, Michigan where brother Tim will be the Pastor of the Liberty Baptist Church. Their daughter Joanna is staying here and came for membership at TLBC today by letter from the Immannuel Landmark Baptist Church in Graham that is now disbanned. Joanna was given the right hand of church fellowship today. We had some good fellowship one more time with the works family. We gave them a card and a LOVE offering of $500.00 to help with some of the moving expenses. The cake was real nice. It said "Until we meet again". Due to the length of our fellowship we decided to have an abreviated service in the afternoon with a short season of prayer. Visit our church website. click here

IT DOESN'T HURT TO HAVE A LITTLE BIBLICAL HUMOR ONCE IN A WHILE.

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth.
A.Ruthless.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groan...)

PS. Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee? Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . . . "He-brews"

KEEP SMILING!!!! .