Where to live after Retirement

The thaw is on and now we will be praying for the folks that live near rivers and are concerned about flooding. It was good to be back in church today. I taught Sunday School, led the singing, preached in the morning and in the afternoon services. See Our church website click here for the sermon outline today. Attendance was on the rise and we thank God for this. We had about seventeen there today.

Where to Live After Retirement

You can live in Phoenix , Arizona where.....
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that " dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You can Live in California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought

You can Live in New York City where...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature,"
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn.
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can Live in Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can Live in the Deep South where...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.

You can live in Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can live in the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

AND You can live in Florida where..
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

The Son

The cold weather has stayed around this time and boy was the snow beautiful when it first fell. It was above freezing today for the first time in a while and now we are at that stage where the dirty slush is piled up all along the side of the roads. Due to the bad weather conditions and the aging of our membrship we canceled our church services last Sunday and on Wednesday night. Marion and I went over and checked out the building today and all is well. Hopefully we will be able to have services this Lord's Day. The weather man is talking rain all weekend. We made it over to visit with both of our daughters in their homes yesterday for a few hours. Thankfully the both only live about three miles or so from us. Mom didn't want to get out in the ice and snow and risk taking a spill. We made a quick trip to the store for her and she is content to stay home in her nice warm apartment.

Take my Son
A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art.
When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.
About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands.
He said, 'Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly. He often talked about you, and your love for art.' The young man held out this package. 'I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this.'
The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture. 'Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift.'
The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.
The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.
On the platform sat the painting of the son The auctioneer pounded his gavel. 'We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?'
There was silence.
Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, 'We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one.'
But the auctioneer persisted. 'Will somebody bid for this painting. Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?'
Another voice angrily. 'We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Goghs, the Rembrandts. Get on with the real bids!'
But still the auctioneer continued. 'The son! The son! Who'll take the son?'
Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. 'I'll give $10 for the painting.' Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.
'We have $10, who will bid $20?'
'Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters.'
'$10 is the bid, won't someone bid $20?'
The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son.
They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.
The auctioneer pounded the gavel. 'Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!'
A man sitting on the second row shouted, 'Now let's get on with the collection!'
The auctioneer laid down his gavel. 'I'm sorry, the auction is over.'
'What about the paintings?'
'I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.
The man who took the son gets everything!'
God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: 'The son, the son, who'll take the son?'
Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything.
FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, WHO SO EVER BELIEVETH, SHALL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE...THAT'S LOVE

Cold weather

Thank the Lord for the repaired furnace. I don't thing the portable heaters would have been able to keep the place warm enough. Very COLD weather. Several were missing from church today but we had warm services. See our church website for a copy of my sermon outline. click here


The cold weather made me think of my crew back on the job before I retired. We were the ones that had to go out in the weather and make repairs and do other things that made it possible for others in our company to do their jobs. I was like a lot of folks in this state. I had a job. I worked. They paid me. I paid my taxes and the government distributed my taxes as it saw fit. In order to get that paycheck, we were required to pass a random drug test. I have no problem with that. I don't do drugs or alcohol. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a drug test and may not even be a citizen of this country. It seems to me that people should have to pass a drug test to get a welfare check because a lot of us had to pass one to earn it for them.

Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do however have a problem with helping someone that is sitting around doing drugs, while I earn a paycheck for them. Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a drug test to get a public assistance check ?????

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2 AP's for TLBC

We had a nice warm season of prayer at our "Prayer Meeting" service last night at TLBC. Our heating system had been out of service for a while (Red Tagged by the Gas Company) and we had been making do with portable heaters and praying about what to do. Service technicians had advised us that the best thing to do is to replace the furnace with a new one at the estimated cost of about $4000.00. After doing some more research, we found a company that could get the part we needed on "warranty" and replace it for the cost of about four hours of labor. Praise the Lord - the unit is now back in service and just in time for a predicted cold snap in the weather. They are saying that we will see temperatures in the teens for several days. God has been so gracious to us in His providence.

Another answer to prayer is news from Elder George Kelley in Ontario, California. We had asked brother Kelley to come and preach for us the last week in January of 2009 in celebration of our church anniversary. TLBC was organized on January 26, 1980. There was some question as to whether or not brother Kelley could come because of some medical reasons but he called us Tuesday and confirmed that he would be able to come. Praise the Lord again! We LOVE to hear brother Kelley preach and are looking forward to a good meeting.

Yours in Christ,
Larry Killion
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Welfare

Pray for us as we strive to press on in faith and holiness for the glory of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Brother Russell taught on the Nature of Christ in Sunday school today and I preached on "The Providence of God part 2" in the AM service. click here

In the afternoon service I taught on "Joseph." There is not a lot said about the man that adopted the virgin born Christ as his own son but what little is said sure is a blessing.

WELFARE

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, " Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. "The social worker behind the counter said, " Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year."The guy, wide-eyed, said, " You're pulling my leg "

The social worker said, " Yeah, well . . You started it."

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How old is Grampa?

Brother Turner preached a good message tonight at our First Friday Fellowship meeting at church. Hi ssermon was taken from Zechariah 13:1 and the title was "A Fountain Opened."

Zack, Tom and Ralph were first time visitors. Good services.

" How Old is Grandpa?"

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandpa and Grandmaabout current events. The grandson asked them what they thought about the shootingsat schools, the computer age, and just things in general. They replied, "Well, let us think a minute,We were born before: television penicillin polio shots frozen foods Xerox contact lenses Frisbees .

There were no: credit cardslaser beams or ball-point pens

Man had not invented:pantyhose air conditioners dishwashers clothes dryers and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and man hadn't yet walked on the moon

How old are they???

Every family had a father and a mother. Until we were 25, We called every man older than us, "Sir".And after we turned 25, We still called every man older thanus, "Sir". We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy. Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions. Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege. We thought fast food was a bologna sandwich and a moon pie and RC Cola Having a meaningful relationship meant getting alongwith your cousins. Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started. Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums. We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electrictypewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and thePresident's speeches on our radios. If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk. The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam. Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of. We had 5&10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel. And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards. You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600 . . . but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon. In my day: grass was mowed, "coke" was a cold drink,"pot" was something your mother cooked in and "rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby."Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office, "chip" meant a piece of wood, "hardware" was found in a hardwarestore and "software" wasn't even a word. No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap... and how old do you thinkwe are? I bet you have this old man and woman in mind...you are in for a shock!

Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.................

These people would be only 59 years old. {Scary, isn't it?}

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Customers For Life