By Joseph Backholm | Executive Director
"Why
do the nations rage and the peoples plot in vain? The kings of the
earth set themselves and the rules take counsel together, against the
Lord and against his Anointed saying, "Let us burst their bonds apart
and cast away their cords from us. He who sits in the heavens
laughs;..." Psalm 2:1-4a
Yesterday, Preserve
Marriage Washington conceded that our attempt to repeal the same-sex
"marriage" law that was passed by the legislature was not going to be
successful.
The first question is, "why?" Why did we lose after such a long string of successful campaigns on marriage?
The most obvious answer to
this question is the huge discrepancy in resources. In some ways, being
outspent by more than $10 million and still having the race be as close
as it was is a testament to the strength of our argument and the hard
work so many of you invested. The spending differential in left leaning
Washington was significantly greater than had ever been faced in other,
often far more conservative states. Washington was clearly targeted
nationally as the priority for passing same-sex "marriage".
It doesn't make anyone feel
better, but these are realities that help us create some context for
what happened with Referendum 74 that are important because of the next
question.
Does this mean America is now prepared to embrace same-sex "marriage" as a normative?
Advocates of same-sex
"marriage" will no doubt be energized by these results and believe that
America is ready to say that same-sex relationships are in every way the
same as marriages.
Here is the reason I don't believe this is true.
What became apparent in all
the discussions about this subject is that people in general don't
object to the idea that kids need moms and dads. Some do, but that's
the fringe left of their movement.
The support they received
from the middle, that they needed in order to prevail, came from people
who were voting to approve this as a way of proving they don't dislike
gay people.
Their campaign makes an
entirely emotional argument that says, "the only reason you would oppose
redefining marriage is if you don't want gay people to be happy." When
well-funded, this can clearly be successful.
But the fatal flaw of every
purely emotional argument is that the emotions you depend upon
eventually go away. Eventually you must defend your arguments on the
merits. And the idea that kids don't need moms and dads, that gender is
meaningless, and that there is no reason to recognize different
relationships cannot be defended on the merits.
The only reason they have
convinced people to agree with these principles is because they have
convinced people that you're a bad person if you don't. Once they lose
that leverage, and they will, they lose the argument.
So what does this mean?
It means that the legal
definition of marriage has been changed. But it does not mean that the
important distinctions between men and woman have been erased, or that
most people even agree with the idea that they should be. The vote
changes civil law, but it does not change reality.
As my children's father, I
am specifically necessary in their life. As my children's mother, my
wife is specifically necessary in our children's life. That is true for
every parent in Washington State. None of us are replaceable. The
relationship that allows my children's mom and dad to be present in
their lives at the same time is uniquely valuable.
Marriage has always served a
purpose greater than our own personal fulfillment. It not only unites
men and women to each other, but it unites men and women to the children
that result. No, not every married couple has a child. But every
child has a mother and father, and the absence or presence of a child's
mother and father in her life is not meaningless. True marriage-between
a man and a woman-honors this.
The greatest risk from
redefining marriage is not that same-sex couples can live as they
choose, or even that the religious freedoms and individual rights of
those who disagree will be lost (though that is a reality). The greatest
risk is that we, as a culture, continue to internalize the idea that
there is no greater good than our own personal happiness; that the world
exists, or should exist, to make us feel good about ourselves.
Regardless of the context,
when the adults care primarily about themselves and their own happiness,
children and the next generation suffer. That is evidenced equally by
our national fatherlessness epidemic as well as our $16 Trillion
national debt.
The "Greatest Generation"
earned that moniker because of their selflessness in defense of others.
I cringe when I consider how my generation could be remembered.
The more we believe "it's about me", the worse it will be-for everyone.
Yes, we hope every person
finds joy in life. But joy is not a function of your circumstances but a
byproduct of decisions that are consistent with what is good, true, and
beautiful. And that, invariably, requires us making less of our own
personal happiness, rather than more of it.
Friends, this battle is not
over. In the end, we cannot lose because truth is always vindicated.
Every lie is ultimately exposed as such. And when the history of this
anomaly has been written, may it be said of us that a temporary
political setback not only did not weaken our commitment to truth, but
strengthened it.
There are all sorts of corny clichés or scenes from inspirational movies that could be used to analogize moments like these.
But it will always be true that our character is determined not by what happens, but how we respond.
There is no need for fear. And if you're inclined to feel fearful, consider the following.
Has it ever occurred to you
that nothing has ever occurred to God? It's true. He has never
learned something that changed how he viewed things. He already knows
everything, and I assure you, He's not afraid. He who sits in the
heavens laughs...
If it was up to us to fix
all the world's problems, we should be terrified. But it isn't. And
that's why He told us so many times to "fear not".
We must control the things we control.
We must guard our marriages
and purge from our own lives the idea that my own happiness is
paramount. We must teach our children not only how to think biblically
in light of an increasingly hostile culture. We must strive to find that
balance truth and grace so that who we are speaks more than what we
say.
And finally, we must persist.
While this is
unquestionably a setback, what has been built over the last several
months has the opportunity to be the turning point for our state. There
are literally hundreds of thousands of new relationships that are
formed and thousands of people who have engaged in this battle for the
culture for the first time. More than a thousand churches who applied
biblical truth to cultural discussions in ways they never had before.
What has been built over
the last year has the opportunity to create truly lasting change in
Washington State, provided we don't quit.
Benjamin Franklin remarked
that if we don't hang together, we will all hang separately. I'd like
you to consider the possibility that if we hang together, we just might
win this thing.
There are unborn lives to be saved.
There are freedoms to be won.
There are rights to be protected.
There are lives to be changed through a confrontation with truth.
There are people to be reminded that marriage is, and will always be, a relationship between a man and a woman.
If anything, what just
happened in Washington is a testament to what can be accomplished by a
few highly motivated people. Now it's our turn.
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